Willow in Winter

It’s only been ten days since the start of March, and I can already tell you this month sucks. I got jaw surgery last week because I was born with a beautifully messed up bone structure that would only get worse with age until it’d be impossible for me to eat and breathe properly. So after saving for years, I finally got surgery to fix it. They cut me open, readjusted my jaw, cut a few bones and added a nose job so my face would look symmetrical.

Right now, I’m in so much pain but also high on painkillers, so I have zero expectations for this post to be good.

I’m obviously not going to post any pictures of the process, I don’t want my messed up face on the internet. Just imagine someone super pale with lots of yellow bruises around her face and neck with a jaw three times the average size because it’s all swollen. Pretty picture, right?

I had to leave the comfort of my town in England and come to Barcelona, where I’ve had the operation. I’m currently writing this from a very expensive airbnb in the centre, but I’m going back to my hometown soon to spend the rest of my recovery period surrounded by my pets.

I spent the days before the surgery doing this The Starry Night by Van Gogh puzzle to distract me and reduce my anxiety. It almost worked, I only had two mental breakdowns where I wanted to cancel the surgery.

Even though I’ve been in Barcelona for the past two weeks, I have barely seen the city as I get too tired to walk around, but I plan to go to some of my favourite places before I have to leave later this week. I can’t breathe through my nose, my mouth is swollen, and my ears hurt so much that walking for more than ten minutes is becoming a bit of a challenge.

That’s what’s keeping me motivated through this insane pain and discomfort, the fact that every day I feel a tiny bit better, so by this weekend, I should be able to take the metro and explore, even if it’s just for two hours.

So far, these are the views from the area where I’m staying. I managed to go out for 30 minutes the other day without fainting.

There’s a funny story of me fainting at the hospital right after puking thick black blood clots, which made me look like a vampire. I hit the ground the second I saw that and woke up surrounded by six nurses. It’s the scariest and most exciting thing that’s happened to me, and I tell this story to everyone who asks about my surgery.

This is a short post because I’m falling asleep while typing this, and there isn’t much to tell either. I hope to post some pictures of my walks around Barcelona soon, and I also need to catch up on my reading. It’s taken me nine days to finish a book, which is insane for me, but I can’t concentrate too long on something.